Zombieland (2009)

4/5

Zombieland is a zombie movie parody in the same vein as Shaun of the Dead, but shorter, funnier, and much more palatable to American audiences. It follows a ragtag group of humans in a world overcome by zombies and the magnificently creative ways in which they kill them. There are a surprising number of genuine scares, even though it is not a horror movie (although nobody told the other previews). But there are far far more genuine laughs. The writing is sharp, witty, and observant, using the absolute minimum to get the joke across (whether it's through quick flashbacks or jump cuts) while letting the audience build the remainder of the scene themselves. The characters are rich, well-acted, and compelling, but not particularly unique.

The special effects were fairly disappointing. The use of text, especially when the letters were treated as parts of the scene that could get knocked over or have blood splattered on them, was clever at first but quickly became way overdone. On the other hand, the use of slow-motion, especially for killing and destruction, was always awesome. The only disappointment is that there wasn't much more to the movie than what was in the trailer. All things considered, it's an immensely entertaining comedy with a bit of blood for the boys and a bit of romance for the girls. Definitely check this out.

IMDb link: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1156398/

Pineapple Express (2008)

3/5

I have never been a big fan of the stoner genre--I loathed Smiley Face--but I was actually pretty excited about Pineapple Express, mostly because it reunited James Franco with Judd Apatow and Seth Rogen from Freaks & Geeks. Judd Apatow was the saving grace behind this otherwise simple stoner comedy. As you can expect from an Apatow-produced pic, the most hilarious moments were when the characters argued with each other, as they are in real life as well. The plot was actually pretty good, considering the genre. It follows potdealer Saul (Franco) and process server Dale (Rogen) after the latter witnesses a murder that results in the unlikely duo as the murderers' next target. The movie was technically proficient, and I expected nothing less from David Gordon Green. It wasn't as poetic as his other films, but nobody was expecting it to be. All in all, it was exactly what I expected it to be, nothing more and nothing less. Feel free to watch it if you want, but you should know what you're getting into.

IMDb link: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0910936/

Never Back Down (2008)

2/5

Jeff Wadlow's Never Back Down (working title Get Some) is, for all intents and purposes, Fight Club meets Bring It On. And it is an amazing movie. By which I mean to say that I was very amazed by it. Amazed at the atrocious acting, at the lifeless characters, at the predictable plot, and at the cheesy dialogue. But amazed most of all that I was actually able to enjoy it.

To discuss the acting first: Sean Faris's "knowing smiles" and "charming smirks" made ME want to clock him, for looking so retarded. His glib self-satisfaction and fighter mentality didn't mesh with his emo outsider persona. His home life and past mistakes were disarmingly mind-numbing. His mother and younger brother are utter buffoons, shallowly envisioned and hollowly portrayed. All the girls in the movie, and I mean ALL of them, were written as absolute idiots, in every respect. The mother, in an argument about fighting, asks him if he thinks breaking things is fun. Then she throws a glass against the wall and breaks it, encourages her younger son to do the same, and agrees that it does feel good. Then cleans it up, because that's her job as mother. Uhh, what? Another time, this one chick says, I think you'll lose in a fight, and then is confused as to why that might upset the person she told.

These are all faults of an insultingly stupid script. Not a single line said in the movie could be taken seriously. Everything was laughable. Of all the movies I've seen so far this year, which granted is two, Never Back Down takes the cake for funniest. It is difficult not to laugh at such a preposterous premise executed with such acute, unerring, seemingly planned, precision in creating this farcical, sentimental dreck. Which reminds me: What high school do these people attend? I want to go to this imaginary paradise, where all the girls are sexy, bikini-clad models, where lesbians make out in bubble baths while others watch, and where the most violent school rivalry ends peacefully in that seemingly ubiquitous "nod and smile" of approval.

All that being said, it does in fact try to be more than a cheesy teen emo fighting romance. You have to give it credit for trying. Unfortunately, the attempt itself just made the whole movie seem more pathetic. While everyone groaned and poopooed the literary correlations (the shield of Achilles in the Iliad), I really liked it and thought it elevated the movie to a more sophisticated realm. And it was a blast to watch. Even if you don't think the serious parts are funny, you will still laugh at the intended comedic elements, which are frequent and many. I had a good time watching it. But I really hope Sean Faris never acts again.

IMDb link: http://imdb.com/title/tt1023111/