Easy A (2010)

3/5

Easy A is a forgettable teen comedy about a girl (Stone) who is way too smart for high school. Once a rumor is spread by her friend Rhiannon (Michalka) that she lost her virginity to a college guy on a first date, she earns a reputation as an easy lay. She helps a gay friend (Byrd) pretend he's straight by having fake sex with him at a party. The rumors continue to swirl among the popular crowd (Badgley) and offended Christians (Bynes), while the truth makes its way around the losers of the high school. Eventually she realizes that her actions may have bigger consequences than she thinks.

The movie is unimpressive in almost every way except for its dependence on clichés and 80's movies references. The cinematography is bland and the pacing was somewhat uneven. The writing as a whole was superficial. I never really understood anybody's motivations for doing what they were doing and the pointless narration in the form of a webcast didn't help. But this movie is hilarious. The dialogue is sharp and witty and Emma Stone delivers her lines with precise comic timing. The jokes are even better when it comes to the adults (Haden Church, Kudrow, Clarkson, Tucci), each of which are shining, unique gems in an otherwise dull film. But that's not enough to make this film memorable. Watch it if you want a quick laugh, but don't expect anything more than that.

IMDb link: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1282140/

Burlesque (2010)

4/5

Burlesque is a pretty spectacular musical. (I guess technically it's not a musical because the characters never really break into song and dance; it's just part of their performance.) The movie stars Christina Aguilera as Ali, a small-town girl who wants to hit it big in LA. She discovers a burlesque lounge owned and operated by Tess (Cher) and is instantly mesmerized by it. She tries everything to get on stage and dance with them, but settles for waitressing there just so she can watch. She befriends the bartender (Gigandet) and, after her apartment gets broken into, becomes his roommate. She finally gets her chance to show everyone what she has when they hold auditions. They find it impossible to take their eyes off her. And you will too.

The songs are a mix of old-school show tunes and more modern, upbeat songs. Both are excellent, although I definitely preferred the newer songs. Cher's "Welcome to Burlesque" had me stunned from the very beginning of the movie. Christina Aguilera's "Show Me How You Burlesque" closes the film off with the same flair. Both will leave you in awe. The dancing is fantastic all around, but none of the numbers impressed me as much as those two songs did on their own. None of the other songs did either, even though several of them stood out ("Express," "You Haven't Seen the Last of Me"). If you're looking for a movie with great singing and dancing, then this is the movie to watch.

The rest of the technical aspects were a mixed bag. The cinematography and editing were better than I expected them to be, but there were some noticeable areas where it could have been improved. The acting was pretty good for the most part--especially the side characters--but there is this one scene between Aguilera and Gigandet that was laughably bad. I was actually laughing during it, to the point where my girlfriend got mad at me for it. That scene alone made me consider dropping it down to 3 stars. Overall, definitely recommended for any musical fan. And for any fan of Cher or Christina, this is a must-see.

IMDb link: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1126591/

Twilight (2008)

2/5

Twilight is a terrible movie. It is about an awkward high school girl who meets an equally awkward high school vampire (despite the fact that he's been around for 200 years or so) and the heroin-like obsessive love they develop for each other. You would think that after two centuries of existence, he would be less socially inept (and would've found someone else!), but you would be wrong. So after postulating that he's a vampire based on visual experience and an ancient tome, I can see how a silly girl might believe that to be the case. But isn't it far more likely that she's experiencing hallucinations or delirium? Maybe she should have checked herself into a mental institution. (Also, I may not have a great memory, but I'm pretty sure high school was never that awkward and weird. Granted, we did not have vampires in our class, as far as I know.)

The romance aspect was clearly unhealthy, with flat, uninspired pairings of flat, uninspired characters. The acting was monotonous, the directing was bland, the music was forgettable (except the Radiohead song they played during the end credits). There wasn't even any vampire action to speak of, just a lot of simple audiovisual special effects. Lots of unconvincing whooshes and time lag filters. The only thing that stood out was the rest of the high school class (the non-vampires), although their storyline quickly fell to the wayside about halfway through the movie. All in all, this is an unsurprisingly unimpressive preteen movie.

IMDb link: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1099212/

Never Back Down (2008)

2/5

Jeff Wadlow's Never Back Down (working title Get Some) is, for all intents and purposes, Fight Club meets Bring It On. And it is an amazing movie. By which I mean to say that I was very amazed by it. Amazed at the atrocious acting, at the lifeless characters, at the predictable plot, and at the cheesy dialogue. But amazed most of all that I was actually able to enjoy it.

To discuss the acting first: Sean Faris's "knowing smiles" and "charming smirks" made ME want to clock him, for looking so retarded. His glib self-satisfaction and fighter mentality didn't mesh with his emo outsider persona. His home life and past mistakes were disarmingly mind-numbing. His mother and younger brother are utter buffoons, shallowly envisioned and hollowly portrayed. All the girls in the movie, and I mean ALL of them, were written as absolute idiots, in every respect. The mother, in an argument about fighting, asks him if he thinks breaking things is fun. Then she throws a glass against the wall and breaks it, encourages her younger son to do the same, and agrees that it does feel good. Then cleans it up, because that's her job as mother. Uhh, what? Another time, this one chick says, I think you'll lose in a fight, and then is confused as to why that might upset the person she told.

These are all faults of an insultingly stupid script. Not a single line said in the movie could be taken seriously. Everything was laughable. Of all the movies I've seen so far this year, which granted is two, Never Back Down takes the cake for funniest. It is difficult not to laugh at such a preposterous premise executed with such acute, unerring, seemingly planned, precision in creating this farcical, sentimental dreck. Which reminds me: What high school do these people attend? I want to go to this imaginary paradise, where all the girls are sexy, bikini-clad models, where lesbians make out in bubble baths while others watch, and where the most violent school rivalry ends peacefully in that seemingly ubiquitous "nod and smile" of approval.

All that being said, it does in fact try to be more than a cheesy teen emo fighting romance. You have to give it credit for trying. Unfortunately, the attempt itself just made the whole movie seem more pathetic. While everyone groaned and poopooed the literary correlations (the shield of Achilles in the Iliad), I really liked it and thought it elevated the movie to a more sophisticated realm. And it was a blast to watch. Even if you don't think the serious parts are funny, you will still laugh at the intended comedic elements, which are frequent and many. I had a good time watching it. But I really hope Sean Faris never acts again.

IMDb link: http://imdb.com/title/tt1023111/