Furious 7 (2015)

4/5

Furious 7 outdoes its many predecessors in every way possible. Sometimes this mindset helps, but more often than not it hurts. Fast & Furious 6 was already the epitome of outrageous action films, so anything more extreme just feels silly. The action scenes are too over-the-top to believe, which eliminates the tension from each action scene. You are supposed to fear for someone's life, but you can't do that if they are invincible superheroes.

Maybe I'm just forgetting the previous films, but I'm a little surprised at how much objectionable content there is. The objectification of women is outrageous, filming models the same way they film shiny new cars. The Rock's use of "woman" and "sumbitch" is both derogatory and laughable.

That's not to say that this is a bad movie; in fact it's a whole lot of fun. It's pure entertainment. And Paul Walker's send-off is poignant and heart-rending. If only the movie ended on the beach instead of with the voice-over montage, it would have been immeasurably better. But it is what it is, blending humor and action and heart seamlessly, which makes it a joy to watch.

IMDb link: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2820852/

Fast & Furious 6 (2013)

5/5

Fast & Furious 6 is a shot of adrenaline straight to the heart. It is non-stop excitement from beginning to end, perfectly paced without a single misstep. Its story continues right where Fast Five left off and never pauses for a second. It's filled with a fair number of plot twists and, partly because it sheds its underground street racing roots, it keeps you engaged until the gut-shot preview of Fast Seven. But the plot is not why you see this movie. You watch it for the way it collects all the coolest characters from the previous movies and assembles them into an Avengers-style superhero team. They team up against an especially cruel and evil villain (Evans) who has some devious tricks up his sleeve (i.e., those bad-ass "flip cars").

The action scenes are more often than not obscenely absurd, but even at their most extreme they are more intelligible than the fast-cut close-up style permeating more traditional action movies. Stunts remain more visceral experiences than CGI action, and this movie serves as the perfect example. The car chases are riveting, the fistfights are thrilling. I was honestly on the edge of my seat, heart pumping, holding my breath for two whole hours. And the movie manages all this with a levity and comedy that work (against all odds) to shape it into a well-balanced piece of entertainment. Yes, the characters are archetypes without any complexity. But their one note-ness gives them charm and focus and sympathy. I found myself so invested in the characters and what happened to them that I couldn't stop myself from jumping out of my seat and yelling yeah! in the middle of the theater. And I did not feel embarrassed at all. I never thought I'd be saying any of this about a Fast & Furious movie, but color me surprised. Fast & Furious 6 is one of the most engrossing action movies I've seen--ever--and I cannot wait to see it again.

IMDb link: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1905041/

Journey 2: The Mysterious Island (2012)

2/5

Journey 2: The Mysterious Island is a fairly tame 3D adventure flick for kids. The movie is a sequel because it takes place after another movie and has the same main character, but it actually requires no knowledge of the previous film to enjoy it. (Or not enjoy it, if you want to be snarky.) The problems start with the story, which is outright silly. The problems continue with special effects that already look outdated, combined with an incessant use of 3D objects coming out of the screen at you. The story follows a self-proclaimed "Vernian," someone who believes that all of Jules Verne's novels describe real places. The titular island, which houses tiny elephants and gigantic bees, is actually a day away from submerging and becoming Atlantis, which provides the perfect impetus to turn this scientific exploration into an action adventure. The story elements, from the budding romance to the stepfather-son bonding, all felt like checkboxes that producers filled out in an attempt to sell more tickets. The movie's saving grace was Dwayne Johnson, who was able to provide both believable action and comic relief. He is the only reason to see this movie. He is able to add a star to just about any movie just by being in it.

IMDb link: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1397514/

Fast Five (2011)

4/5

Fast Five, no matter how much better it is than the previous four films in the franchise, is a pretty silly movie. It starts with a jailbreak that is somehow perfectly orchestrated such that they are able to wedge a sports car under a moving prison transport, get the bus to roll over about ten times without killing any inmates, and then rescue Vin Diesel and take him to Rio. Diesel and his gang then proceed to rob "the most powerful gangster in all of Rio" in the most preposterous manner imaginable while The Rock tries to track him down, killing anyone and everyone in his path like he's the Hulk.

The cinematic elements are fairly standard for modern action movies: quick cuts, shiny shots, and all the explosions, chases, and fistfights you can take. The movie often hides what is going on from the viewers for no reason other than to surprise them later, and you have to try especially hard to suspend your disbelief in this movie, but the screenplay contain some clever twists, especially with respect to the heist. The dialogue, however, is laughable. Vin Diesel's performance makes the script seem even more ridiculous, as he apparently has confused yelling with acting. The Rock, who I respect much more than in his early days, is not only the best actor in the film, but the best by about ten orders of magnitude. It's a very enjoyable movie that succeeds as mindless entertainment, but don't expect anything more than that.

IMDb link: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1596343/

Get Smart (2008)

3/5

Get Smart is one of many modern movie adaptations of old TV shows. I've never seen the original, but I'm glad for it (apparently a number of reviewers find it to be unfaithful). It's a spy movie spoof about a bumbling new field agent chasing after terrorist bad guys. The story is pretty bare bones. Naturally, the music, cinematography, and editing are all adequate and forgettable. But it's a great combination of hilarity and action. The best part about this movie is the characters, the interactions between them, and the actors portraying them. I love Steve Carell in everything he does. I'm not a fanboy--he just hasn't let me down. Ever. If you love Steve Carell, you will love this movie. If you don't, I don't know who you are or why you're reading this, because you're obviously not my friend. Anyway. Just know that this is a very entertaining, very light, action comedy movie. And enjoy!

IMDb link: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0425061/