Watchmen (2009)

4/5

Watchmen was not as bad as I expected. I expected another 300, but I got something much better. After seeing both, I realized that Zack Snyder does little to alter, either improve or tarnish, the source material he is given. As far as graphic novels are concerned, Frank Miller's 300 sucks and Alan Moore's Watchmen rocks. Everything I liked about this movie originated from Alan Moore--the believable story, the complex characters, the mature mood and atmosphere. Everything I didn't like originated from Zack Snyder--the incessant slow-motion, the bad special effects, the poor music choices. There is one thing I will credit Zack Snyder with adapting successfully, and that is the intro credit sequence to backdrop the story's timeline.

Still, there were a number of changes Snyder should have made to make the adaptation more successful. First, it should have been around 2 hours (instead of 2 hours 45 minutes) and more focused. Snyder allowed extraneous material to bog down the pacing and confuse the audience. Second, there was way too much nudity, especially of a certain blue penis. (Also, why does Dr. Manhattan have eyebrows but no pubic hair?) Third, the actors spoke with comic book stylings, which stood as a stark contrast to the mature mood evoked by the movie's story. Fourth, it didn't really explain the universe. Why are these superheroes stronger/faster/smarter than everyone else? How can someone just raise their daughter into a career of crime-fighting? Why does Rorschach's mask constantly change ink patterns? How is Ozymandias faster than a speeding bullet? Most of these complaints are minor, but I often think of them when I think of this movie. Still, Watchmen is an altogether enjoyable experience and one I would highly recommend to people who are curious as to what might really happen in an alternate universe of superheroes.

IMDb link: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0409459/

300 (2006)

2/5

300 tries to be visually stunning, but doesn't quite succeed. Buildings look like unfinished Maya renderings. The thing that separates this movie from other movies that use CGI is the extent to which it's used, not the quality of it. There were only three scenes I really liked. The first was the shot of young Leonidas killing the wolf. The second was the action sequence where the two Spartans were advancing together. The third involved the undulating Oracle, because it was so surreal to watch and captured the mysticism it was intending so perfectly. It was also incredibly sexy.

But the rest of the movie sucked. When the actors spoke their lines, it was like watching piss spurt out of their mouths--a feat Sameer considers comedy, but one that I cringe at. It took a very long time for any real action to start, and when it came, it came in jumps and starts. To be quite honest, it was a pretty boring movie. There was a sex scene that was done in such a bizarre fashion that it made me feel almost as uncomfortable as watching the sex scene in Munich. The ending was awful; it should have ended 15 minutes earlier. Also, the ludicrous construction of the narration was laughable, unnecessary, and just plain bad filmmaking--on par with, if not exceeding, the reason for narration in Million Dollar Baby. What Jed didn't like about the movie, and I agree, is that there was so much potential in the story that the movie just threw out the window. Wholly unrecommended, although it might make a cool video game... at least to look at.

IMDb link: http://imdb.com/title/tt0416449/