Movie 43 (2013)

1/5

Movie 43 is an abomination of filmmaking. It is an offensive assault on the senses for 90 straight minutes. This thing--which I refuse to call a movie--is a collection of unrelated images and scenarios designed to disgust and disturb. It is the kind of thing created for reaction videos, with no inherent value. From neck testicles to cartoon cat masturbation fantasies, from parental abuse and incest to graphic leprechaun violence, from gratuitous nudity to yellowface surgery, there is no line it won't cross. I'm disappointed that so many quality actors have sullied their names by taking part in this evil transgression of cinema, this shameful plague of a thing. It makes me shudder just thinking about it. Ugh.

IMDb link: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1333125/

How To Train Your Dragon (2010)

4/5

How To Train Your Dragon by DreamWorks is a phenomenal animated film on the same level as most Pixar movies. The plot follows the young Viking Hiccup (Baruchel) and his great warrior father Stoick (Butler) on an island plagued by dragon attacks. Hiccup isn't like the other Vikings--he's scrawny and uses his brain to invent weapons instead of wielding giant hammers and axes--and his father lets him know how disappointed he is in him because of it. Wanting to kill a dragon and prove to his father that he's a manly Viking, he tests out a new weapon on an elusive dragon species called the Night Fury. He strikes the dragon down, injuring the tail so that he can no longer escape. He has the opportunity to kill the dragon but discovers that he can't. He sees the dragons with the same fear that he felt and realizes that they're just like him, instead of the evil creatures he's been taught must be killed on sight. But that is just the beginning of this epic tale.

This movie is an exhilarating and memorable ride. Despite a few bad puns, the writing is exceptional. I was a huge fan of the repetition of certain phrases that, when placed in different contexts, showed new meaning. I liked the play on words with the concept of "dragon training," and how it did a complete reversal from what it was in the beginning of the movie. To me, the writers clearly treated this film with care, intellect, and a faith and respect in their audience that is a rarity in "kids" movies these days. That kind of attention to detail was present in their incredible graphics as well, even though I didn't see it in 3D (I think they give me more headaches than they're worth). Without going for the cuteness of Pixar or the realism of Beowulf, they managed a charismatic and charming style that feels appropriate for the subject matter and wholly original.

There were a few things I didn't like about the movie, however. First, Baruchel's voicing of Hiccup was irritating. By about 10 minutes in, I just got annoyed at his whiny, monotonous tenor and wished he was played by anybody else, even Michael Cera. Second, the fight and reunion with his father felt written and didn't quite ring true, although it nonetheless contained some tearjerking ability. Third, there were some aspects of the plot I didn't (and still don't) get, but they're relatively minor and don't really hinder your enjoyment of the film. This movie goes wholly recommended by me, because it has just about everything you could ask for in a film, including the all-important entertainment value.

IMDb link: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0892769/

The Ugly Truth (2009)

3/5

The Ugly Truth is a fairy predictable romantic comedy that pairs a very attractive female lead (Heigl) with a very unattractive male lead (Butler). Speaking of unattractive leads, I bet PS I Love You would make me vomit, because it has the ugliest leads I can possibly imagine. Anyway, back to the movie at hand. The hackneyed plot takes the crass, arrogant know-it-all (like Harry in When Harry Met Sally) and forces him into a romantically flawed relationship with a neurotic obsessive-compulsive (like Sally). Of course they get on each other's nerves at first, then they find themselves falling for each other, then they both make mistakes and hide their true feelings, and then finally they redeem themselves and have a happy ever after.

There were some really funny parts, I have to admit. In particular, the baseball game and the dinner with corporate personnel had me cracking up in my seat. Still, the characters were dumb, unoriginal, and unappealing. I felt the exact opposite of how I felt about the characters in Knocked Up; instead of loving them, I hated them. The writing, about the crude, one-track minds men have, was nothing new, inventive, or inspiring. It was just the same old, same old. There were a few shots I thought were cool or interesting, but they were fairly hard to spot and didn't really do much to elevate the movie past its other flaws. All in all, it's the romantic comedy you expect. If you know you're gonna like it, check it out. If you know you're gonna hate it, pass.

IMDb link: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1142988/

RocknRolla (2008)

4/5

Guy Ritchie's RocknRolla is pretty much the same movie as all of Guy Ritchie's other gangster movies. The complicated and confusing plot is made more imperceptible by thick, obfuscatory British accents. And while it started out with a story that seemed uninteresting and unengrossing, there was just enough innovation and cleverness to make it fresh and new. The cinematography, style, and editing all feel the same as his earlier movies (which is a compliment). The decidedly quick-witted humor is also back, and in full force. Guy Ritchie knows British movies, British actors, and British sensbilities, but not American ones. Jeremy Piven and Ludacris felt a little out of place here. Still, RocknRolla is an altogether enjoyable film that is on par with Snatch. I recommend it to anyone who knows and enjoys Guy Ritchie.

IMDb link: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1032755/

300 (2006)

2/5

300 tries to be visually stunning, but doesn't quite succeed. Buildings look like unfinished Maya renderings. The thing that separates this movie from other movies that use CGI is the extent to which it's used, not the quality of it. There were only three scenes I really liked. The first was the shot of young Leonidas killing the wolf. The second was the action sequence where the two Spartans were advancing together. The third involved the undulating Oracle, because it was so surreal to watch and captured the mysticism it was intending so perfectly. It was also incredibly sexy.

But the rest of the movie sucked. When the actors spoke their lines, it was like watching piss spurt out of their mouths--a feat Sameer considers comedy, but one that I cringe at. It took a very long time for any real action to start, and when it came, it came in jumps and starts. To be quite honest, it was a pretty boring movie. There was a sex scene that was done in such a bizarre fashion that it made me feel almost as uncomfortable as watching the sex scene in Munich. The ending was awful; it should have ended 15 minutes earlier. Also, the ludicrous construction of the narration was laughable, unnecessary, and just plain bad filmmaking--on par with, if not exceeding, the reason for narration in Million Dollar Baby. What Jed didn't like about the movie, and I agree, is that there was so much potential in the story that the movie just threw out the window. Wholly unrecommended, although it might make a cool video game... at least to look at.

IMDb link: http://imdb.com/title/tt0416449/