Gone Girl (2014)

4/5

David Fincher's adaptation of Gillian Flynn's Gone Girl is extremely faithful to the source material. The novel is a disturbing, chilling story of twisted love and cunning revenge and Fincher brings it to the screen expertly. Nick Dunne (Affleck) discovers his wife Amy (Pike) has gone missing on the morning of their fifth anniversary under suspicious circumstances. Although their relationship started with unquestioning affection, it deteriorated over the years to a hateful place when the movie begins. And as the police investigation progresses, Nick is suspected of being her murderer. With a script that is very intelligent in what it retains and what it excises, the story has plenty of twists and turns to surprise and shock.

The casting is spot-on. Ben Affleck plays Nick to perfection, exuding calm aloofness at inopportune times or cool charm when it counts. He is able to be loved then hated then admired then disdained. He is as complex as you could imagine him to be, and then some. Rosamund Pike steals the show as her persona is gradually revealed over the course of the film. I don't want to ruin any of the surprise, but you will be absolutely stunned by this performance. She is a revelation.

Fincher's directing is as smooth and atmospheric as ever. Cinematography is moody and brooding; editing is tense but pensive. Everything works together to present a polished, pristine version of incomprehensible acts of evil and villainy. Even the way the on screen text is displayed, from the way the intro credits seem to disappear just a half-second too quickly to the way the dates fade in as the story progresses, works to unsettle you.

But despite how well-made it is, both as an adaptation of a book and a film in its own right, the story is just too exhausting, too excruciating to watch more than once. It deflates you and disgusts you. The poignant points are all cynical ones and the movie seems to deliver a message without hope. It is worth watching once, but take in as much as you can when you do because I can't imagine many people will take much pleasure in rewatching it.

IMDb link: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2267998/

A Very Harold & Kumar Christmas (2011)

2/5

A Very Harold & Kumar Christmas is a very Harold & Kumar movie, it's just not a very good movie. It is, in fact, a very stupid movie. The story and the jokes feel like rehashed sloppy second versions of the first one (and probably the second one too, but I never saw it). It is just as rude, crass, and vulgar as every other stoner comedy made in the last 10 years. And it is just as funny as well--which is to say only occasionally funny. The jokes, when they do hit home, can be great. But they can be abysmal as well. The shining light in this series is Neil Patrick Harris, and he does not disappoint here. Unfortunately, he is not enough to make this a memorable movie in any sense of the word. The best I can say about Harold & Kumar is that it is mindless entertainment, with a big focus on mindless. If I were Kal Penn, I probably wouldn't have quit my day job to make this movie.

IMDb link: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1268799/

Beastly (2011)

1/5

Beastly isn't just a bad movie--it's an atrocious movie. It's worse than Twilight. The plot is loosely based on Beauty and the Beast, but takes place in a modern-day preppy New York high school. The updated setting requires some modifications to the story, and the writer decided to use all those opportunities to make it as terrible as possible. The movie takes the clichéd cocky, image-obsessed rich boy (Pettyfer) and pairs him up with the clichéd smart, hard-working loner (Hudgens). A witch (Olson) puts a spell on him to make him ugly and he has one year to find someone to love him. His dad (Krause) abandons him in a hermit home with a nanny (Hamilton) and a blind tutor (Patrick Harris) that have no purpose other than to give him trite advice.

Everything about this movie is offensively bad. The plot just doesn't make any sense. At all. It is literally impossible to suspend your disbelief for this movie. And it stacks on more plot holes and hackneyed "twists" to an already fragile foundation that make you throw your hands up in the air in exasperation. (The entire situation that forced them together is perhaps the most preposterous and aggravating part of the whole movie.) The third-grade writing combines with the weak acting to create a spectacle, and I don't mean that in a good way. It's more of a train wreck that has you rubbernecking as you pass by. It is really mind-blowing that something could be this bad. My best guess is that the dialogue is what a pre-teen imagines might sound cool and witty but is ultimately shallow and meaningless. Not only that, but the tone is inconsistent and the pacing is more painful than stop and go traffic. Is it trying to be funny, romantic, scary, emotional? Who knows? Certainly not the director.

Unfortunately, it's not all bad. And I hate saying this in my review, because that might give people some sliver of hope. But in all honesty, there are about 2 or 3 funny parts where I may have smiled and 2 or 3 lines that stood out and were probably put in by an editor or producer who was much more intelligent than the writer. That being said, avoid this movie at all costs. I don't care if you are a fan of any of the actors in this movie, it is just not worth it.

IMDb link: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1152398/