Star Trek: Into Darkness (2013)

4/5

Star Trek: Into Darkness is a phenomenally thrilling summer blockbuster and not much more. This time, the intrepid crew of the USS Enterprise finds themselves thrust unwittingly into the midst of a budding intergalactic war that could end with Earth's destruction. The villain is a genetically-engineered super-human (Cumberbatch) who has nothing but vengeance on his mind. Taking place a short time after the first one, the characters have not grown or matured at all since we last saw them. They are as familiar and simplistic as they were previously, with flat personalities and predictable motivations.

But the movie is better than its predecessor thanks to a more engaging story and more exciting action. The plot is nothing to write home about, but it propels the characters forward with nigh unstoppable velocity. The cinematography is fraught with the same ubiquitous lens flares that plagued the previous film. The real surprise--for me, at least--is Cumberbatch. He is charming but devious, cunning but friendly, repulsive but inviting. He makes the movie stand out, and I can't wait to see him in more stuff (Sherlock is next on my long list of TV shows to watch).

IMDb link: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1408101/

A Very Harold & Kumar Christmas (2011)

2/5

A Very Harold & Kumar Christmas is a very Harold & Kumar movie, it's just not a very good movie. It is, in fact, a very stupid movie. The story and the jokes feel like rehashed sloppy second versions of the first one (and probably the second one too, but I never saw it). It is just as rude, crass, and vulgar as every other stoner comedy made in the last 10 years. And it is just as funny as well--which is to say only occasionally funny. The jokes, when they do hit home, can be great. But they can be abysmal as well. The shining light in this series is Neil Patrick Harris, and he does not disappoint here. Unfortunately, he is not enough to make this a memorable movie in any sense of the word. The best I can say about Harold & Kumar is that it is mindless entertainment, with a big focus on mindless. If I were Kal Penn, I probably wouldn't have quit my day job to make this movie.

IMDb link: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1268799/

Star Trek (2009)

3/5

Star Trek is a very entertaining and enjoyable movie. And it was exactly what I expected, without any surprises to elevate it past the status of summer blockbuster. It's right where GI Joe, Terminator, and Transformers are gonna be when they come out. It's action-packed enough to excite the masses looking for a quick thrill ride, it's funny enough to defuse tension and keep people laughing, and it's got enough quotes from the original to appease superficial fans of the series. Now, I'm not a huge fan myself (I rated the original movie 2/5), but I can see how hardcore followers might be upset by the liberties the writers took with the series. But whatever. It's a glossy, slick reinvention of Star Trek that has the potential to bring some new fans and their wallets into theater seats. Now, to vent:

JJ Abrams uses too many lens flares. They're in pretty much every shot, even--bafflingly--dark environments. Lens flares are the worst. Also, he seems to love three-dimensional fonts, going so far as to re-use the sucky one from his less-than-stellar series Fringe. Three-dimensional fonts are the worst. Worst worst worst. Worst.

IMDb link: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0796366/

Smiley Face (2007)

2/5

Smiley Face is an awful teen stoner comedy, a complete 180 from Araki's previous project--Mysterious Skin, about child molestation and its effects--which I thought was extremely well-done and worth watching. This, on the other hand, shouldn't even be on a festival circuit, unless the festivals it's running are pot festivals and dumb comedy festivals. I don't even think the pot community would like this movie, as it paints a horrible portrait of pot users.

The movie follows Jane F as she gets high, eats a ton of pot cupcakes and gets even more high, and goes on a series of misadventures throughout the day. There are, admittedly, some funny parts where I laughed, but these parts are swallowed whole by the dumb parts. The entire movie I couldn't stop thinking, "How is this stupid movie in the Director's Fortnight?" The story itself was throwaway; nothing about the movie's plot was essential. She loses pot, so she gets her secret stash, only to flush it down the toilet when she thinks the cops are after her. The acting? I can't even separate it out into a subcategory and give it some sort of rating. It's just part of this disgusting movie. The characters, all of them, were worthless and impossible to relate to. Nobody would like anybody in this movie, as they are all portrayed in negative, biased stereotypes. I hated the editing, which relied too heavily on fades, post effects, etc. They looked cheesy and ugly to boot. The music, on the other hand, wasn't bad, but the movie relied too heavily on the music. The cinematography actually wasn't bad. The movie had a lot of small indie comedy actor cameos (like Hyde from That 70's Show, that guy in The Office, and Danny Trejo), but the characters they were always playing were worthless and had like five lines. Jeez, I hate this movie. I hope you are not the kind of person who does like this movie.

IMDb link: http://imdb.com/title/tt0780608/