Killers (2010)

2/5

Killers is such a stupid movie. When I first saw the trailer, I thought that it might be cool. As time went on and reviews came out, I got less and less excited for it. If I had just waited for my interest to dwindle to nothing, I might have spared myself from watching this stupid movie. It follows the awkward relationship that develops between awkward CIA agent Spencer (Kutcher) and awkward computer nerd Jen (Heigl) after awkwardly bumping into each other in France. Spencer is there to kill someone while Jen is there vacationing with her alcoholic mother (O'Hara) and overbearing father (Selleck). They get married and, several years later, Spencer discovers that a bounty has been placed on his head. All of his neighbors start attacking him with machine guns and kitchen knives like something out of Hot Fuzz, only bad. There are also a few side stories that are worthless and a final "twist" that would have been obvious if it made any sense.

Now that you know how stupid the plot is, I can tell you how stupid the rest of the movie is. The characters just don't work. At all. None of them. The two leads have absolutely no chemistry together; it's like they're talking cardboard cutouts. There was no passion, even in their arguments. There's very little romance and there's very little comedy (although the movie as a whole does provide some moments to laugh at, like the alcoholic mother, before you come to the depressing realization that alcoholism has become a punchline). The pacing is atrocious and the special effects are terrible. The gunfights and car chases failed to keep my attention (although the hand-to-hand combat was actually not bad). It's not the worst movie in the world, but I would seriously ask anybody who was intrigued by the trailer to just step away and let this one go. (The only reason it is not 1 star is that it didn't offend me in any way.)

IMDb link: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1103153/

The Ugly Truth (2009)

3/5

The Ugly Truth is a fairy predictable romantic comedy that pairs a very attractive female lead (Heigl) with a very unattractive male lead (Butler). Speaking of unattractive leads, I bet PS I Love You would make me vomit, because it has the ugliest leads I can possibly imagine. Anyway, back to the movie at hand. The hackneyed plot takes the crass, arrogant know-it-all (like Harry in When Harry Met Sally) and forces him into a romantically flawed relationship with a neurotic obsessive-compulsive (like Sally). Of course they get on each other's nerves at first, then they find themselves falling for each other, then they both make mistakes and hide their true feelings, and then finally they redeem themselves and have a happy ever after.

There were some really funny parts, I have to admit. In particular, the baseball game and the dinner with corporate personnel had me cracking up in my seat. Still, the characters were dumb, unoriginal, and unappealing. I felt the exact opposite of how I felt about the characters in Knocked Up; instead of loving them, I hated them. The writing, about the crude, one-track minds men have, was nothing new, inventive, or inspiring. It was just the same old, same old. There were a few shots I thought were cool or interesting, but they were fairly hard to spot and didn't really do much to elevate the movie past its other flaws. All in all, it's the romantic comedy you expect. If you know you're gonna like it, check it out. If you know you're gonna hate it, pass.

IMDb link: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1142988/

21 (2008)

2/5

21 is a laughably bad movie; it is a fake version of a true story wherein six MIT students counted cards to win big from blackjack tables in Vegas. Except of course for the second and third acts, where things go wrong and become right again thanks to our hero. The story lacked creativity and insight. The writing was atrocious, the characters one-dimensional, the acting flat. Even Spacey was disappointing; while he wasn't bad, he just didn't have any opportunity to be good with the script. The music was always out of place. The scenario was exceptionally unrealistic: who believes that the only way to go to med school is with tuition for four years pre-paid? "Don't have $300k in your pocket? Can't go to med school!" And how can the idiot who believes this have gotten a 44 MCAT?

At the same time, there were a number of parts I enjoyed. Some of the action and exciting moments were gripping. There is one devastating moment in the film, where everything comes crashing down, and I really felt what the character felt. Several of Spacey's lines are brilliantly delivered, especially his vicious insults. The Asian dude is hilarious. It's fun to laugh at, but even then it's not worth it.

IMDb link: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0478087/