The premise behind the Japanese horror movie Audition is as follows: a man wishing to remarry decides to hold auditions for a movie as a method of selecting his new wife. Sounds funny, right? Or at least interesting. Instead, it is neither. It is a complete waste of time, a compost heap filled with trash of the most exploitative kind. If it had a message, I could understand the graphic violence. If it were entertaining, I could accept that it had no message. But there is simply no redeemable aspect to this waste of time. The cinematography was ugly and annoying, the acting was worse than amateurish, and the dialogue was insulting to anyone who knows how to talk, or listen, or neither. The unintelligible script was further hurt by unconvincing props and bad lighting, such that we actually have absolutely no idea what is happening at any point in time. Not even the sound design was good. Every gory sound was as if a man slowly put his hand in an apple pie. The entire time I was waiting for this "thing" masquerading as a movie to end. I will now describe everything that happened so that you will not need to watch this movie even out of curiosity. It is not a spoiler alert, it is a save-your-time-and-anger alert. As a side note, Sameer wanted to physically injure the director after seeing it.
The first hour and a half are boring, worthless, and irrelevant. Then the "horror" aspect of this movie comes into play. The very very ugly woman he has selected to be his new wife starts to torture him without explanation. She sticks a syringe filled with ??? into his tongue. Then she starts stabbing his belly with thin metal needles, like acupuncture but painful. Then she sticks them in his eyes and flicks them around. Then she cuts off his foot with a garotte wire. She starts cutting his other foot off when the man's son arrives. She finds an object that puffs, giggles, and runs away to surprise the boy and presumably torture him in front of his father. Then we find out it is a dream. Then it is not a dream. And his son runs up some stairs with her chasing, puffing, and giggling, and at the top he kicks her down and kills her. Oh, also, there is a man without feet, with 7 fingers, one ear, and no tongue in a tied brown bag that jumps and growls when you least expect it to. He is let out once in the movie, which is how we find out about his disfigurement, to show us that he is wearing a diaper and is glad to have the chance to slop up the very very ugly woman's vomit. There is also a disabled, blind ballet instructor who gets his thrills from burning girls very close to their vagina. And that is all there is in this movie. The end.IMDb link: http://imdb.com/title/tt0235198/