Thor: The Dark World (2013)

2/5

Thor 2 is just as bad as Thor 1, but mired in even more CGI nonsense than its predecessor. The characters are boring, the plot is boring, and even the action is boring. It's like watching a bad video game. I really have nothing more to say about this movie.

IMDb link: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1981115/

Thor (2011)

2/5

Marvel's Thor is a surprisingly silly movie compared to the company's earth-centric counterparts: the Captain America and Iron Man franchises. Focusing on the inhabitants of an entirely fictitious world called Asgard, it naturally spends a good 30 minutes on definition and exposition. It's boring, bland storytelling, full of made-up methods of transportation like horse-riding across rainbow roads and being slingshot out of gyroscopic planetariums.

My biggest problem is that I find all the characters unlikeable, including the eminently pleasant Natalie Portman. Although he gains a little depth by the end of the film, Thor is essentially a loud-mouthed, arrogant, English-accented buffoon with an idiotic smile. (And, as a side note, how come all the Asgardians speak English?) Portman plays a physicist who enjoys hipster clothes and gets easily distracted by cut male figures. Happily, the movie has some gripping action scenes that pull you in and keep your eyes glued to the screen. But besides their visual appeal, they aren't particularly compelling aspects to the film. Some are outright ridiculous, like a muddy wrestle in the rain.

But Thor is not a particularly good movie. And certainly not a movie good enough to take the Marvel name and stand with the rest of them. To be honest, I only watched this movie so that I could see the second Thor movie so that I could be prepared for the second Avengers movie. I wish I had just never watched it. The best thing about my decision to watch this movie is that I won't feel bad deleting it from the DVR and recording something better.

IMDb link: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0800369/

Prometheus (2012)

3/5

Ridley Scott's Alien quasi-prequel Prometheus is one of the most frustrating films I've seen recently. It has a lot of big ideas, thought-provoking dialogue, and terrifying science fiction coupled with unanswered questions and endless let downs. It is undeniably awe-filled but also incredibly unsatisfying. The movie starts with what I assume is the dawn of man in an infuriatingly ambiguous but visually stunning introduction. And it continues in much the same manner; every positive that the film contains is perfectly balanced by a negative. Crisp cinematography coupled with poor pacing; inspiring dialogue matched to flat acting; and stimulating thematics married to simplistic answers. At the end of the movie, I was left grasping at straws, remembering scenes of horror and moments of wonder and always wishing they gave me more than what they did. This is obviously required viewing for any fan of Ridley Scott or the Alien series, but it's only going to irritate everybody else.

IMDb link: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1446714/

RocknRolla (2008)

4/5

Guy Ritchie's RocknRolla is pretty much the same movie as all of Guy Ritchie's other gangster movies. The complicated and confusing plot is made more imperceptible by thick, obfuscatory British accents. And while it started out with a story that seemed uninteresting and unengrossing, there was just enough innovation and cleverness to make it fresh and new. The cinematography, style, and editing all feel the same as his earlier movies (which is a compliment). The decidedly quick-witted humor is also back, and in full force. Guy Ritchie knows British movies, British actors, and British sensbilities, but not American ones. Jeremy Piven and Ludacris felt a little out of place here. Still, RocknRolla is an altogether enjoyable film that is on par with Snatch. I recommend it to anyone who knows and enjoys Guy Ritchie.

IMDb link: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1032755/

The Reaping (2007)

3/5

The Reaping was a surprisingly effective supernatural horror movie. The plot follows Hilary Swank as an atheistic zealot out to scientifically disprove all miracles. When a small, religious Louisiana town starts being struck down by what they fear are the ten Biblical plagues, David Morrissey asks her to go down and investigate. The plagues keep coming, and she finds herself at a loss to explain every single one. The townspeople don't, however; they blame it on a 12 year old girl who may be the devil incarnate.

The best part about this movie by far is its ending. The epiphany at the end, following by the obligatory final twist, was perfect. It made you rethink the entire movie in new terms, which is exactly what a twist should do. Unfortunately, the way it accomplished this feat was the worst part about the movie. Flashbacks. Terrible, convoluted, nagging flashbacks. In fact, when combined with the ubiquitous dreams and hallucinations, it was pretty difficult to understand what was real and what wasn't. Until the end anyway, and even then some stuff was still quite random and inexplicable. The second best part is the visual experience. Not simply its composition and cinematography, but its stunning, striking, shocking images and concepts that you will forever associate with the film. The second worst part is the acting and the dialogue. Though I actually liked Swank's character and performance, the rest of the cast remained unquestionably two-dimensional and forgettable. (I did like Morrissey's accent, though.) The third best part is the mood. It was frightening, to say the least, as the film effectively utilized both quick scares and unsettling ideas/images. The third worst part was an irrelevant and unnecessary intro detailing just what exactly Swank's job was (although it did have a cool House vibe). After all that, it ends up about even, although I definitely recommend it if you were ever interested in it.

IMDb link: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0444682/