Thor: The Dark World (2013)

2/5

Thor 2 is just as bad as Thor 1, but mired in even more CGI nonsense than its predecessor. The characters are boring, the plot is boring, and even the action is boring. It's like watching a bad video game. I really have nothing more to say about this movie.

IMDb link: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1981115/

Thor (2011)

2/5

Marvel's Thor is a surprisingly silly movie compared to the company's earth-centric counterparts: the Captain America and Iron Man franchises. Focusing on the inhabitants of an entirely fictitious world called Asgard, it naturally spends a good 30 minutes on definition and exposition. It's boring, bland storytelling, full of made-up methods of transportation like horse-riding across rainbow roads and being slingshot out of gyroscopic planetariums.

My biggest problem is that I find all the characters unlikeable, including the eminently pleasant Natalie Portman. Although he gains a little depth by the end of the film, Thor is essentially a loud-mouthed, arrogant, English-accented buffoon with an idiotic smile. (And, as a side note, how come all the Asgardians speak English?) Portman plays a physicist who enjoys hipster clothes and gets easily distracted by cut male figures. Happily, the movie has some gripping action scenes that pull you in and keep your eyes glued to the screen. But besides their visual appeal, they aren't particularly compelling aspects to the film. Some are outright ridiculous, like a muddy wrestle in the rain.

But Thor is not a particularly good movie. And certainly not a movie good enough to take the Marvel name and stand with the rest of them. To be honest, I only watched this movie so that I could see the second Thor movie so that I could be prepared for the second Avengers movie. I wish I had just never watched it. The best thing about my decision to watch this movie is that I won't feel bad deleting it from the DVR and recording something better.

IMDb link: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0800369/

No Strings Attached (2011)

2/5

No Strings Attached is a "romantic comedy" about two friends attempting to be friends with benefits (or actually friends with only one benefit, namely sexual intercourse). I put romantic comedy in quotes because you would be hard-pressed to find any romance in this film and the comedic elements fall flat about as frequently as they succeed. Natalie Portman plays a weird girl who is uncomfortable with intimacy; throughout the entire film we never get a sense of why she is the way she is. Ashton Kutcher plays the same character he has played for the past 10 years in romantic comedies, and there was nothing new or unique about it the first time we saw it. As for the plot, it progresses predictably into disaster when one party wants more than just sex. Whatever will they do.

Movies like No Strings Attached really frustrate me. It's not the quality of the movie that I find irritating, but the fact that it has so much potential that it chooses to throw away on cheap jokes and superficial meaning. Natalie Portman is incredible in this movie; she gives her character as much depth and warmth as possible, but the character is just written so shallowly that her talent is wasted. Half of the jokes are hilarious, but the other half you could practically hear crickets chirp in the theater. It was painful how bad they were and I actually felt embarrassed for the movie. The relationship between the two main characters is absent until the ending (maybe I'm just being naive, but I thought you had to be friends before you could be friends with benefits). The movie itself is okay, and there are plenty of laughs (more than any Will Ferrell or Ben Stiller comedy that I've seen), but it just feels like a half a movie. I can't recommend it in good conscience.

IMDb link: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1411238/

New York, I Love You (2009)

2/5

Unlike its predecessor Paris, je t'aime, New York, I Love You is a terrible movie. It is a terrible, terrible movie. It is a collection of short films that reveal characters who become intertwined with other characters in New York City. Unfortunately, you wouldn't know that if you just watched it. It would appear to an innocent bystander to be a random smattering of ludicrous events that are pretentiously written, acted, and directed that give the illusion of lofty meaning and artistic flair. It is filled with empty stories based off of shallow ideas. However, amongst the 11 short films, there were two (2) good segments. The first starred Bradley Cooper and Drea De Matteo as two strangers who spent a night together that became more than a one-night stand; it is about the fears and doubts they have about what it meant for them and for the other person as they barrel through the city to meet again. It has a tremendously powerful ending. The second starred Eli Wallach and Cloris Leachman as an old married couple who head out on their 63rd anniversary to Coney Island, where they had their first date. They exchange playful banter, as unique and genuine as a real-world couple who might have lived in each other's companies longer than they have lived alone, who love and hate everything about the other person. It reminded me of No Country for Old Men in the best possible way. Still, those two gems in this giant pile of poop aren't quite valuable enough to recommend wading through it all. Ick.

IMDb link: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0808399/

Black Swan (2010)

5/5

Darren Aronofsky's Black Swan is honestly one of the most terrifying movies I have ever seen. It envelops you in the psyche of an unstable, damaged woman. It traps you there without escape. Yet you cannot turn your eyes away. You can only watch in horror as she gradually disintegrates. You are left staring at scenes that will disturb and disgust you. You witness her fears come alive as hallucinations; you witness her ecstasies turn cruel and nightmarish. When her paranoia completely engulfs her, I was literally trembling with fear.

The movie is arresting in all its technical aspects. Its stark lighting and black and white palette is visually stunning. It frequently tracks characters' movements, more often rough, nauseating, and immersive instead of the more typical smooth, dreamlike voyeurism to which we are accustomed. The editing is pitch-perfect: it gives us fluid transitions alongside beautiful compositions, it integrates plot progression with taut suspense. The thematics are compelling and powerful, revealing Aronofsky's focus on central concepts that likely mirror his own life. The story shares the same basic framework as all of his other films. An outcast discovers a hobby or talent. It becomes an addiction that soon consumes their life. It finally metamorphoses into an obsession for which they will sacrifice everything they used to cherish.

Aronofsky's Black Swan, for all its technical prowess and thematic underpinnings, is a movie that ultimately rests on the actors' shoulders. Winona Ryder, Mila Kunis, Barbara Hershey, and Vincent Cassel shine in their roles, but none of them take your breath away quite like Natalie Portman. She delivers a phenomenal performance. She plays the timid, virginal ballerina to perfection. Her ultimate reversal into the sexually uninhibited black swan seems equally effortless. She simply becomes her character--none of it is acting. She is the reason to stop whatever you're doing right now and see this movie. But no matter when you see it, now or ten years from now, I have no doubt that it will still be hailed as a masterpiece.

IMDb link: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0947798/

The Darjeeling Limited (2007)

4.9/5

The Darjeeling Limited, Wes Anderson's latest film, follows the antics of three brothers on a spiritual quest to rid themselves of the emotional baggage of their father's recent death and mother's disappearance. Like all of Anderson's films, there are moments of heartbreaking emotion, juxtaposed effortlessly to choke up any laughter still left in your throat after the uproarious scenes that immediately preceded them. Unlike his other movies, this back and forth was not as prevalent as before. Most of the time it was subtle, but what surprised me was the dialogue-free 10 minute stretch in the middle of the film as we breathlessly witness a suffocating moment and its indelible consequences. Its impact is profound, its inclusion necessary. The symbolism and themes presented by the movie, left open to the viewer for interpretation and application in their own lives, places this film above simple comedy.

In typical Anderson style, the quirky music is exceptional, a perfect companion to the texture of the rest of the piece. The acting matches this bizarre mood, filling out the fictional characters with real humans. I was fascinated by the camerawork and Anderson's insistence--almost an obsessive need--to shoot at precise, 90 degree angles. His quick sideways tracking/panning made it impossible to see anything between the absolute cardinals, a sentiment echoed in his refusal to show transition shots during editing. He made some cinematography choices I disagreed with, however. I have an intense dislike for zooms (even when used as effectively as in Barry Lyndon), and their overabundance here dismayed me. He also overdid the slow-motion shots; if used half as often, they would have reached optimal impact. Still, these issues are relatively minor and easily overlooked. Behind The Royal Tenenbaums, this is probably Anderson's finest film to date.

IMDb link: http://imdb.com/title/tt0838221/

Paris, je t'aime (2006)

4/5

Paris, je t'aime consists of 18 stories all set in Paris that discuss some form of love. Some of the films intermingle those two requirements, but a lot of them don't. Being a compilation of so many different filmmakers, naturally some will be better than others. This movie has its fair share of bad apples, but also good apples and amazing apples, which made the overall experience really enjoyable. My favorites were by the Coen brothers (Tuileries), Alfonso Cuaron (Parc Monceau), and Alexander Payne (14e arrondissement). Close seconds belong to Tom Tykwer (Faubourg Saint-Denis), Oliver Schmitz (Place des fêtes), Sylvain Chomet (Tour Eiffel), and Walter Salles (Loin du 16e). Most of the rest were decent, and some were merely adequate, but Christopher Doyle's Port de Choisy (Chinatown) stands as far and away my least favorite of them all. And this seems to be the consensus that most people come to after seeing the film, but the great thing about this movie is that there are so many different stories you're almost bound to love one and like most of the others. After you're done you get a wonderful patchwork of emotions and ideas about what Paris is like ... and what love is like. This is by far the best compilation work I've ever seen and is definitely worth a watch. Think of it as a good Love Actually.

IMDb link: http://imdb.com/title/tt0401711/

My Blueberry Nights (2007)

4/5

I waited for two hours to see this movie, and I was not disappointed. It's quite good, but I'm going to write about what I didn't like about it first to get that painful stuff out of the way. Norah Jones's acting was atrocious in the beginning; it seemed amateurish, ditzy and unreal, as if she were reading a script, and reading it poorly. After a while I got more used to it and it fit in with her character better. Also, she looked A LOT like Hilary Swank, and I just couldn't get that fact out of my head while watching it. Jude Law was a bit unnatural too. The cinematography looked beautiful, but it played not so well. It was a bit edit-heavy and the lovely slow-motion shots in his earlier films no longer had their "cool" effect; instead it ended up being just excessive and annoying.

Now, onto the good stuff! I loved the Strathairn/Weisz segment and the Portman segment. It was back to the good old Wong Kar Wai I know and love, and in perfect form. The acting was flawless, the characters unique and full, the story touching and meaningful, and the emotions/tensions high. The dialogue was much much better than the Law segment(s) and had a much richer analytic framework. The music choice was always awesome, although sometimes its presence might have been a bit overpowering and too ever-present for my tastes. I especially liked the musical homage to In the Mood for Love at the end of the movie. I left the theater thankful for my experience, despite the long wait in the sun and the flaws in the movie. It is well worth watching for any Wong Kar Wai fan.

IMDb link: http://imdb.com/title/tt0765120/

V for Vendetta (2005)

2/5

This movie is very talky. And bad. I wanted action; instead I got a deified ideology that I disagreed with bashed into my head with blunt filmmaking techniques. Movies are blunt because they disrespect their audience by assuming their level of intellect is so low that they are simply unable to "get the message" and have to be treated like children and have it repeated for them it in as many different ways as possible. That is precisely what this movie does for 130 minutes, and the philosophy is so radical, I don't know who would even agree with it in the first place.

I guess the style and look of the film is pretty good. Also, the little action there was wasn't bad, although it wasn't very thrilling either. I really cannot recommend any aspect of this movie to anyone.

IMDb link: http://imdb.com/title/tt0434409/