New York, I Love You (2009)

2/5

Unlike its predecessor Paris, je t'aime, New York, I Love You is a terrible movie. It is a terrible, terrible movie. It is a collection of short films that reveal characters who become intertwined with other characters in New York City. Unfortunately, you wouldn't know that if you just watched it. It would appear to an innocent bystander to be a random smattering of ludicrous events that are pretentiously written, acted, and directed that give the illusion of lofty meaning and artistic flair. It is filled with empty stories based off of shallow ideas. However, amongst the 11 short films, there were two (2) good segments. The first starred Bradley Cooper and Drea De Matteo as two strangers who spent a night together that became more than a one-night stand; it is about the fears and doubts they have about what it meant for them and for the other person as they barrel through the city to meet again. It has a tremendously powerful ending. The second starred Eli Wallach and Cloris Leachman as an old married couple who head out on their 63rd anniversary to Coney Island, where they had their first date. They exchange playful banter, as unique and genuine as a real-world couple who might have lived in each other's companies longer than they have lived alone, who love and hate everything about the other person. It reminded me of No Country for Old Men in the best possible way. Still, those two gems in this giant pile of poop aren't quite valuable enough to recommend wading through it all. Ick.

IMDb link: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0808399/

Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End (2007)

3/5

After the atrocity that was Pirates 2, I told myself I wouldn't see the third one. But I did anyway. Partly because Sameer said it was pretty good, but mostly because I had the option to see it in Blu-Ray. Here are my conclusions: Blu-Ray is amazing. Pirates 3 is okay.

The best thing about Pirates 3 is how pretty it is. The striking cinematography combines seamlessly with the special effects. And it is breathtaking in high definition. (The text was so crisp!) The second best thing is the humor. The drama and tension are very regularly punctuated by comic relief that I found hilarious. (I was especially happy when I discovered that Ragetti, the pirate with the wooden eye, was played by the same actor who played Gareth on the UK version of The Office.) The third best thing is the action. It was always fun, mostly because it was so utterly preposterous and fantastical. Also the music worked pretty well.

The worst thing about the movie was how unnecessarily convoluted the plot was. I had no idea what was going on. Ever. About an hour and a half through, I gave up, paused the movie, and forced everyone else to explain to me what was going on. That took about 20 minutes. Then there was another hour and a half of movie. Which brings me to the second worst thing about the movie. The length. It is unnecessarily long. This is probably to deal with the unnecessarily convoluted plot. But there are also literally about 30 minutes that could have been taken out without any effect on the movie, except making it better. Also, I'm sick of movies that lead into the sequel at the end. That also happened at the end of Heroes, season 1. And that show sucks.

IMDb link: http://imdb.com/title/tt0449088/