Neighbors (2014)

3/5

Neighbors is an astonishingly stupid adult comedy starring Seth Rogen and Zac Efron as feuding neighbors. I call it an adult comedy because of the content--which includes plenty of sex, drugs, and profanity--but it is really quite puerile in just about every other way. From uninspired acting to barebones characterization, the movie isn't so much a movie as it is a collection of gag jokes and juvenile pranks shot on screen. It's surprisingly similar in feel and scope to the movie Jackass, but with a little extra fiction added on. Even though it's not the most wholesome movie, the humor works. I was laughing the entire time. I won't say that I'm proud of it, but I certainly enjoyed the very vulgar Neighbors.

IMDb link: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2004420/

New Year's Eve (2011)

2/5

New Year's Eve is the bland, uninspired follow-up to Garry Marshall's mediocre Valentine's Day. There is no story to speak of. There are instead about a dozen trite, overused blueprints of ideas that are empty and meaningless. They are all instead vehicles for the two dozen stars to be themselves on camera and try to make money without doing any acting whatsoever. The movie over-relies on archetypes, movie tropes, and celebrity status. Lea Michele sings. Jon Bon Jovi sings. Robert De Niro plays a gruff old guy with regret. And Sofia Vergara plays a sexy lady with an accent. It's the same thing we've seen over and over again. (And Sofia Vergara was significantly funnier on Conan than in this movie.)

The best thing about this movie is the Zac Efron and Michelle Pfeiffer storyline. It had cutesy charm, much more than I expected. But even their portion of the movie lacked motivation and backstory. The other thing I liked about it is a line Josh Duhamel says (although he is in fact just quoting his dead father, and it seems to come out of nowhere): "What would you do today if you knew you wouldn't fail? Now go out and do it." Despite all the ridiculous star power in this movie, it holds no power and deserves only two stars. Avoid.

IMDb link: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1598822/

17 Again (2009)

3/5

17 Again is a movie that surprised me for many reasons. It's funnier than I expected and more heartwarming than I imagined. The story is fairly simple and juvenile: faced with impending divorce, Mike O'Donnell (Perry) is transported back to his high school form (Efron), where he helps his daughter (Trachtenberg) break up with a sleazebag (Parrish) and gives his son (Knight) confidence to stand up against bullies while simultaneously winning back his wife's affection (Mann). I don't want to ruin the movie for anyone who has been living under a rock since the invention of cinema and is unfamiliar with how Hollywood works, but let's just say this movie ends in the expected manner.

The acting and the dialogue are where this movie shines. It is probably Zac Efron's best acting to date. I know that's not really saying much, but he was actually pretty good. The script was far more poignant than I thought it would be given its premise, and far more clever and witty than I gave it credit for. The basic plot of a major life change prompting someone to re-evaluate their priorities feels quite tired and trite, and this movie attempts to freshen it up with an unnecessarily silly scenario instead of a realistic, believable one. I think it could have been an awesome movie if they chose the latter route, but this decision, as well as most of the directorial traits and technical aspects, ended up making the movie mediocre, unremarkable, and forgettable. All in all, not a bad movie and above average as a form of entertainment, but I'm a little disappointed that it wasn't more than that.

IMDb link: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0974661/

High School Musical 3: Senior Year (2008)

3/5

High School Musical 3 is definitely the best of the series, objectively speaking. Die-hard fans will tell you that each has their own unique positive qualities, but in reality this one is the one with the most merit. The songs are vastly superior, the dances are much less awkward, and the overall production quality is easier on the eyes and ears. The director's creativity shines through once more, in both the simple but heartfelt songs and the frenetic dance numbers. This is actually the first time I found myself with a High School Musical song stuck in my head--two, in fact! Also, there are a number of inside jokes that only true fans will appreciate (and point out to the oblivious non-true fans), which is kind of cool I guess.

But in some respects, this movie was the same as the previous ones. The humor is just as innocent, the dialogue is just as cheesy, and the plot is just as predictable. But that's what makes it a Disney movie, and that's what gives it the charm and playfulness its huge female tween fanbase have come to love and expect. But I don't know how to recommend this movie. I wouldn't recommend watching this movie without watching the first two, but I wouldn't recommend watching the first two. So I don't really know where that leaves us. Oh well, make up your own mind!

IMDb link: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0962726/

High School Musical 2 (2007)

2/5

Apparently I am in the minority, but I thought High School Musical 2 was better than the first one. But not by much. The intro countdown to summer was actually really cool and creative, but after that it went downhill. Fast. With preposterously conceived perversions of reality that these "high school students" call "summer vacation" working in a country club. No aspect of the plot or story even remotely seems familiar to anyone going through high school and/or summer break. The characters themselves appear to be empty shells of what might have at one point in time constituted unbastardized versions of real people. The "adorable" relationships from the original become strained to their breaking points, just about eliminating the fun found in the first one. The benefit from this, however, was a more mature look at serious situations that might force audience members to question how they would react in similar scenarios.

Despite suffering from some weak synchronizing of song and video, the songs were actually a lot better than in the first one. More interesting, at the very least. Unfortunately, the dances themselves felt much more awkward and out of place; I wish that I could have told them to stop their dancing and that they would have then listened to me. While still unarguably a made-for-TV children's movie, it managed to make me laugh. Mr. Fulton (Taylor) was absolutely hilarious, even better than Ms. Darbus from the first one. Overall, I can't recommend this to anyone except those who have seen the first one and are in love with it. For everyone else, just walk away now.

IMDb link: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0810900/

High School Musical (2006)

2/5

High School Musical is a made-for-TV movie--and it shows. The colors are oversaturated and almost garish, the acting is very much directed at the camera, and the plot and pacing progress in 20 minute increments. The story is simplistic and predictable, the characters are simplistic and predictable, and even the songs are simplistic and predictable. The musical qualities are just as uninspired and bland as the rest of the piece. In attempting to maintain its child-like innocence, the movie lacks a thematic maturity and professional sheen found in other films. And just to prove that those two are not mutually exclusive, compare this movie to any of Disney Pixar's nine nearly flawless films.

Still, the silliness is infectious and the budding romance is absolutely adorable. The characters' personalities, although flat, and their antics, although ridiculous, are pretty fun to watch. To the point where I wanted them to sing less because it took too much time away from the cheesy dialogue and preposterous scenarios. Another thing I liked was their wardrobe; they have some pretty awesome costumes. Still, I wouldn't recommend this movie to many people I know. (And the people I would recommend this movie to don't care about my opinions on movies anyway.)

IMDb link: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0475293/