Celeste and Jesse Forever (2012)

4.9/5

Celeste and Jesse Forever turned out to be an unexpected treasure that sticks with you long after the credits close. Although I describe it as a treasure, the movie is about as far from a Disney "happily ever after" as you can get. In fact, it starts precisely after most rom coms would end, six years after best friends Celeste (Jones) and Jesse (Samberg) have married, and six months into their separation and impending divorce. It depicts a depressing, sobering take on relationships that don't work out, no matter how much we might want them to. It manages to charm and delight the audience while simultaneously tearing apart our heart. It flits between those two extremes like an expert Wes Anderson film, and I hate it for being so effective.

The title is misleading, because the movie is not about Celeste and Jesse, but about Celeste. It is a character study, and Rashida Jones gives a phenomenal performance. We see the whole breakup through her lens, and we see how much she hurts. We don't see how hard it is for Jesse; we only see snippets of him, snapshots in time. And it doesn't matter whether he's happy or sad, because whenever he comes back into Celeste's life is another crack in her armor, another arrow in her shield.

Much like a film noir, we know how it will end as soon as it starts. That doesn't make it predictable, but fatalistic. It is a torture, as we get ever closer to the final movement we know is coming but hoping never gets here. The chemistry between the two leads makes it that much more painful to watch. There is one scene I do not think I can ever forget, which is acted and filmed to heart-wrenching perfection. The two of them are sitting together on a couch, about to kiss, fighting their desires to do what is right and honorable, fighting what is good and true because of circumstance, fighting and fighting and--whether they succeed or fail--ending up with nothing. The whole movie is encapsulated by that one scene.

After all I said, you would think this movie was a weepy downer drama. It's not. It's a surprisingly fun romp, filled with levity and jokes galore, but it cannot gloss over its bleak undertone. And it manages to end with just the right amount of hope and light amidst the darkness. The movie is an exceptional one, despite some forgivable flaws, and one I highly recommend.

IMDb link: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1405365/

Empire Records (1995)

3/5

Empire Records is the kind of classic 90's movie that could never be made now. It acts silly for the sake of silliness, turns mature on a dime, then swerves back to insane. It doesn't fit a genre except the time period in which it was made. There are no words to describe this movie; just know that it is an experience. The story revolves around a young cadre of employees in a local record store about to be bought out by Music Town, the non-infringement version of Tower Records, on the illustrious Rex Manning Day. There is one surprisingly tender moment in this film, when Joe (LaPaglia) tells Deb (Tunney) that she's doing a good job, amidst the utter chaos and non sequitur that comprises the rest of the film. I'm not typically a fan of such haphazard storytelling, but this movie brings back such fond memories of the kind of movies I grew up with that I cannot ignore it. This movie is something else, that's for sure, but it contains a charm and fire you will remember, even if you aren't one of its cult followers.

IMDb link: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0112950/

The Dark Knight Rises (2012)

2/5

Christopher Nolan's The Dark Knight Rises is a middling experience from conception to execution. The plot is absolutely ridiculous, starring a bad guy with a more preposterously complicated and ludicrously conceived plan than a James Bond villain. The web is littered with countless reviews describing the innumerable plot holes in this film; my favorite is the "prison" that has no guards whatsoever and has an open hatch where everyone is allowed to attempt escape. (Luckily, this prison also apparently neighbors Gotham City!) In the bad science department, I think it actually one-ups Batman Begins, with its notion that someone's broken vertebrae can be realigned as if it were a shoulder dislocation (you know, because there's no spinal cord running through the "out of place" vertebrae that might be irreparably damaged). Also, our protagonist is absent for about half the film, during which time it turns into a WWII Nazi Germany movie.

And that's just the storyline. The technical aspects of the movie fared no better. Similar to the first one, the action is unintelligible thanks to close-ups, quick cuts, and poor lighting. The intro sequence is, quite honestly, unnecessary garbage. The acting is its own form of mess, except for Caine--who truly blew me away with a performance that should have been reserved for a far better film--and Hathaway. Despite the remarkable failure of the individual cinematic elements, The Dark Knight Rises kept me glued to my seat. Nolan is able to achieve an indescribable anticipation and a palpable excitement, an aura of cool. Unfortunately, it lacks any substantive backing to that nebulous quality, which would surely disappear if I were to see the movie again. Honestly, I cannot recommend this film. Despite all the hype and popularity, it is destined to become a cult classic, loved by a few and forgotten by everyone else.

IMDb link: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1345836/

Romantics Anonymous (2010)

4/5

Romantics Anonymous is a tender, affecting tale of two shy souls who develop feelings for the other person but don't know what to do about it. The man, Jean-Pierre (Poelvoorde), owns a failing chocolate factory. He hires the woman, Angélique (Carré), to sell his wares to vendors, unaware that she is a legendary chocolate-maker. Angélique attends the titular anonymous meetings, and she is buoyed and encouraged by her peers to follow her heart. Jean-Pierre sees a psychiatrist, who continually challenges him to take control over his fears. And so it begins.

The script is not the most imaginative piece of literature, being both predictable and saccharine at the same time, but it serves the story well. The directing is nothing new, but it suffices. The movie is exceedingly cute, almost to a fault. The acting is where the film finds its heart. We hurt for these characters, we agonize for their faults and blunders, we ache for their fears and insecurities. We want them to be happy, to find happiness in each other, but it is so hard to be optimistic given who they are, knowing that their whole life experiences have led them to act and trust as they do now. But the movie is superb, keeping it light and humorous when necessary, and holding onto sadness and pain for those certain moments. Romantics Anonymous is a standout film that comes highly recommended by me.

IMDb link: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1565958/

Magic Mike (2012)

2/5

Steven Soderbergh's Magic Mike is loosely based on Channing Tatum's early stripping days in Tampa. It is essentially a dance movie like Step Up with more bare chests and pelvic thrusts. The plotting is uninspired: Tatum introduces 19-year-old Adam (Pettyfer) to male stripping, When Adam discovers he has a knack for it, he becomes entrenched in drugs and high-risk sexual behavior. Tatum is trying to get out of the stripping "business," although I personally thought his dancing was better than his custom furniture, which teetered between eyesore and offensive. It's nothing you haven't seen before, and it's not done particularly well by Soderbergh this time. The dancing was "Xquisite," but the acting was not. McConaughey did give an uncharacteristically competent and believable performance, and Tatum's acting continues to gradually improve, but I would still place both of them in the category of "would not cast in my own movie unless I wanted star power." On the whole, it's a decent enough movie but fails to introduce us to anything new or different.

IMDb link: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1915581/

Ted (2012)

4/5

Seth MacFarlane's Ted is a hilariously ridiculous movie. It's essentially a buddy movie, about John (Wahlberg) and Ted (MacFarlane)--a living, breathing teddy bear. John, picked on and tormented as a kid, made a wish to have his teddy bear come to life and be his best friend forever. And his wish came true! Ted enjoyed some childhood celebrity before the pair eventually settled into their mid-thirties routine of smoking pot and vegging out on a couch. But John's girlfriend of four years, Lori (Kunis), feels like John+Ted is getting in the way of John+Lori. There is one (disgustingly hilarious) event involving a game of truth or dare with some strippers that Ted brought over to their apartment that pushes Lori over the edge, and she demands that John choose between her and Ted.

I think Ted did a surprisingly good job describing the difficulty of balancing friendships and relationships and growing up without leaving your past behind. It contained a number of tender moments that felt authentic and honest--and were completely unexpected coming from the creator of Family Guy. What was not unexpected, on the other hand, was the over-the-top fight scene that was as ridiculous and enjoyable as I was hoping it would be. MacFarlane did a great job writing and directing the piece, able to pace it well in a format completely different from 20-minute televised serials. But I think he let himself go a little too crazy, specifically regarding the utterly bizarre Giovanni Ribisi character. Overall, a formidable and highly recommended entry from MacFarlane.

IMDb link: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1637725/